Grandmother

She loved God. She loved her family. She loved life.

It is really hard to write this. It is hard to put into words who this woman was and what she did during her life. She was the epitome of what a "mother" is in every way possible. The best way to describe this was at my Grandfather's funeral last year. To the man she had been married to for over 60 years. And yet, at the showings and during the funeral, she was still "mothering" her children and grandchildren. I remember going to comfort her, hugging her, crying and she was patting my back telling me it was going to be okay. Telling me how much my Grandfather liked to watch me compete in gymnastics and see my children grow up. It was backwards. I was supposed to be her rock during this difficult time and she was that for me. And she was that to many of my aunts, uncles and cousins.

Since having my children, I think a lot about how it was and how she managed raising her children. She had 12. Sometimes I think I have it hard with my 4. Lunches, homework, pony tails, hitting and crying, showers and baths, baseball, dance, swimming, laundry, and more laundry, cleaning...
Then I think of her and times it all by three.

I had a conversation with her shortly after my girls were born and I remember she told me she was in awe of me. Keeping everything organized with the babies. I couldn't believe it. This was coming from a woman who had 12 children. From one of the women that inspires me as a mother. Such an inspiration, that I gave her first name and middle name to two of my girls. Grandmother kept everything organized. Up until the last day, she could name every grandchild and spouse and every great grandchild. Family was her priority. She made sure each person was noticed and welcomed. And loved. She loved her family.

And when you stop thinking of what kind of mother she was and think about other aspects of her life, it is no different. Her faith was strong. To raise all her children in the church and her descendants to be so devoted to God is a rarity in today's world. She and my Grandfather certainly knew what they wanted for their children. I can't help but think about her daughter, who was born with special needs and she watched develop leukemia and eventually pass away at the age of 4. The girls recently turned five and I can't begin to fathom living through this with any of them. God only gives us what we can handle. When he gives something like Juanita's story to two people--my Grandparents, it show their true character and strength.

 Family birthdays, Baptisms, Confirmations, First Communions and weddings were a priority--Always.

 This is the girls 3rd birthday party

 I have quite a few pictures of Grandmother holding and feeding Kate as an infant. I think, or like to think, she liked having a baby with her name. How thankful am I that the girls and Jack got to know her? Words can not begin to describe it. Kate has some big shoes to fill with her name.

When I told the girls about her passing, they had some specific questions for me. The conversation went something like this:

"But Mama, how did she get to Heaven? Did Jesus hold her hand?" Kate
Yes, baby girl. He sure did.
"I think an angel came down to hold her hand?" Anna
Yes, I think you are right, Anna.
"Is she an angel now? She is with Papa and Grandfather. And Jesus." Elizabeth

These girls like to talk. Sometimes they are just talking to make noise and be heard. I think they have always had the need to talk (loud) to be heard over each other. And then, sometimes these girls say things that really knock me off my feet. At such a sad time, I am able to think back on this conversation and see it though their minds and it really paints a beautiful picture. Hand and hand. Seeing Grandfather again.

Thank-you Grandmother for mothering me, too. I will always treasure the two years I spent under your roof as time I had with you. Time together here on earth, that I won't have again. Thank-you for singing at my wedding. On This Day, Oh Beautiful Mother. A memory I will always cherish

I know you are happy and healthy again watching over all of us. I know I can ask you to help me be a good mother, sister, friend and wife, like you were.

Love you Grandmother.

Grant, O Lord, we beseech Thee, this
mercy unto Thy servant deceased, that,
having in desire kept Thy will, she may not
suffer in requital of her deeds: and as a true
Faith joined her unto the company of Thy
faithful here below, so may Thy tender
mercy give her place above, among the
Angel choirs. Through Christ our Lord.
Amen
Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord
And let perpetual light shine upon her.
May she rest in peace.
May her soul, and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace
Amen